What do you do when students feel guilty?

That's a question I asked my supervisor Joseph today. I don’t know if the words I say sounds accusing or if the way I say it sounds accusing or if just the topics of life I choose to talk about are more convicting but I hear I make people feel guilty.

There is history to this...
I once had a roommate, let's call her Bertha. I discipled her during her freshman year and then we became roommates. Everything was great until she really wanted to have a boyfriend. I tried to encourage her and pray with and for her but all she could think about was having a boyfriend. She became good friends with a very nice, non-yet-Christian man. She wanted to date him and I advised her that would not be a good idea with scripture and others' life experiences. Others in here live were encouraging her to date him and eventually she did. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea again but continued checking in with her and the spiritual health of the relationship and her own health as a friend but not again telling her to stop dating him. Yet after a few months she stopped talking to me about him and would avoid any question I asked about him. She eventually broke up with him, met a nice Christian man and got married. I asked what happened to our friendship and she said she felt guilty, or that I wanted her to feel guilty all the time.

I realized the way I communicate things can come off judgmental if not followed up with love-if others can't see that it comes from love and not care and concern. At the same time though I wondered if it was her own guilt imposed on herself because, after I realized she would continue to date him, I just wanted to love her anyway. I didn't judge her I advised her and loved her and she felt guilty. Much later she admitted that she should never have been dating a non-Christian...

I wonder...
Is there good guilt and bad guilt? Does a guilt trip mean one person is manipulating the other? Or can someone really feel guilt because they are struggling with it internally and would rather think it was brought on by an outsider?

Currently...
I learned how I say things makes a difference and that how I approach a topic and with what love I portray all makes a difference in how what I say is received.

Today I praised the FT Bible study saying they had great connections with many students in the dorms because the leaders were spending them there, and I think that's really cool! The other leader I was with said, "Thanks for making us feel guilty."
Halt. That statement was to praise FT and the great things I saw-not directed at any other leader to make them feel guilty. Perhaps they would be encouraged to hear of the great things happening in FT and want that to happen in their own study but not feel guilty about anything. We talked about it a little more but the leader maintained "some people would take that as guilt."

By chance does that mean that my leader feels guilty about not spending more time in the dorms? By seeing the great things done by others are they jealous? What did I say wrong? I shall ask them that when we're alone and feel it out more but really,
What do you do when students feel guilty?

Finally

We have been praying and asking that God would move and reveal himself to students at UCSB and through InterVarsity.

Well it finally happened. Last Friday.

Noemi came to speak and gave a good talk about Identity and at the end ask students to respond. She had them close their eyes and then asked if they wanted their identity to be based in Christ Jesus and not in the world, all the other things she talked about for the previous 30 minutes, they just had to raise their hand. Now... we've asked this question many time at our Large Group meetings and no one ever responds. The leaders thought we should stop embarrassing oursleves, the young Christians didn't understand what we were doing and the non-Christians in the room didn't know what to think BUT... Last Friday was different. TWO STUDENTS RAISED THEIR HANDS!!!!!! Eric has been a part of our community this whole year and finally made a committment. Josh had come with his friend once and arrived this Friday alone but God was calling on his heart and revealing to him the dark parts of his life and his heart.

Welcome to the Kingdom of God! It's a great place to be!

Now our leaders are encouraged and want us to continue asking. The young Christians know they can bring their friends to a place where they will be challenged to look at a real and active God. And the other not-yet-Christians in the room maybe now think there is something more about this God, he really does change lives and convict hearts.

YEAH GOD!!!!!

Let us continue to teach and disciple and love these new brothers! And may God bring many more students to himself!

Drowning in Applications

I thought we only had 25 but no, alas, there were 30 applications. YIKES!!!! I mean YEAH!!!!

I'm so encouraged that God is stirring in students hearts to serve and go!
I talked with Jan and he said we could increase from 14 students to 18. Well I'll talk with the Bosnia Staff team on Friday and we'll see how many quality students God has called us to bring and then talk with Jan from there. Maybe they could take more students in Sarajevo? We'll see. Please be praying for our decisions and that whatever students come and however many they are that we would be a blessing to EUS staff and nothing less. We don't want to be a burden!

I'm excited to go back. Jimmy was in town yesterday with Kari and we all went to coffee together for 3 hours :)) They are both really great and I would love to spend the summer together with them again- but we'll have to see how the Lord leads. It was fun reminiscing with Jimmy about storieds and fun times we all had together and t to talk about our friends from English class and all the updates we had on them we shared. So fun! Volim Bosne!

30 applications..... yikes.