When you've poured your heart, blood, sweat and tears into the life of someone you love and think has potential to do great things but they then choose to do nothing with it, that sucks.
I was talking with a friend today and that was her recent experience. Looking back I find i too have had disappointing outcomes with people I invested so much in. The first person I discipled and others along the way along with someone quite recently have all rejected the words I shared with them and the example of my life lived with them.
An amazing book, "The Masterplan of Evangelism" is actually about discipleship (you should read it). The first task in discipleship, it says, is Selection. Selecting the right person will make or break the deal. But as my friend and I discussed, how do you know if they are good soil? How will you know if they will use the resources you so lovingly give? It's the hardest and most important part.
I need better discernment from God to know what to do with that.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
1 Month until Bosnia
YIKES!
I'm so excited to go to Bosnia again! I met the team of students that are coming with us... 24 of them. They are all really great students and excited to serve this summer but I'm not going to lie, it was a little intimidating to see them all together and wonder, "How am I going to get all these people through the airport, and feed them all, and care for them spiritually?" But i know God will take care of us. And the other staff coming with me are so great too!
I'm praying God will fund us all in time to go. Most students have less than $1,000 and they all need $3,600. So God will have to be working hard on our behalf. Plus did i mention we're already $3,000 in the red because of plane ticket prices jumping up $200 and the worth of the dollar is decreasing steadily making everything in Europe close to twice as much as it would be here. Well that's what we're up against so pray for our funding, that God would provide.
I'm not afraid because I know God is faithful. For example, I was praying for more students to come to our leadership training and there are 28 students, half are from the predominantly Black fellowship (which is an answer to recent prayers) and half are men (which is an answer to our prayers 2 years ago!) so God is faithful!!!!!
Our Spring Leadership Retreat is the last weekend in May and I'm thrilled to be with all our new leaders and the old to plan and vision for the next year!
And did I say i'm so grateful God is sending another staff, my friend, Marissa Newman, to UCSB? Well it's happening! YEAH! Pray for her funding so she can get here as soon as possible!
I'm so excited to go to Bosnia again! I met the team of students that are coming with us... 24 of them. They are all really great students and excited to serve this summer but I'm not going to lie, it was a little intimidating to see them all together and wonder, "How am I going to get all these people through the airport, and feed them all, and care for them spiritually?" But i know God will take care of us. And the other staff coming with me are so great too!
I'm praying God will fund us all in time to go. Most students have less than $1,000 and they all need $3,600. So God will have to be working hard on our behalf. Plus did i mention we're already $3,000 in the red because of plane ticket prices jumping up $200 and the worth of the dollar is decreasing steadily making everything in Europe close to twice as much as it would be here. Well that's what we're up against so pray for our funding, that God would provide.
I'm not afraid because I know God is faithful. For example, I was praying for more students to come to our leadership training and there are 28 students, half are from the predominantly Black fellowship (which is an answer to recent prayers) and half are men (which is an answer to our prayers 2 years ago!) so God is faithful!!!!!
Our Spring Leadership Retreat is the last weekend in May and I'm thrilled to be with all our new leaders and the old to plan and vision for the next year!
And did I say i'm so grateful God is sending another staff, my friend, Marissa Newman, to UCSB? Well it's happening! YEAH! Pray for her funding so she can get here as soon as possible!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
It can't be April already
So much is happening at the same time! I can't believe it's April!
Re-affiliation of a predominantly African American group on campus with us, Spring Leader's training and Bosnia team meetings, support letters, staff planning stuff and prayer. Ahhhhhh!
Once there was a IV staff named Glory he invested in Josiah and lead a small group for Black students on campus. When Glory left, Josiah continued the small group and invested in Brandon but didn't consider themselves part of InterVarsity anymore. And Brandon, with all the passions and gifts God has given him, gathered together a whole fellowship of students and they called themselves BAM (Born Again Ministries). It's been really exciting to work with Brandon and the other leaders of BAM. They are hospitable, word loving students! As Paul and Brandon have built a relationship over the last 2 years Brandon shared he and his whole leadership team was graduating and there was uncertainty in the future of BAM. After months of talking and planing and preparing and praying some BAM students are going to join our leadership team, lead Bible Studies and help us plan what our Large Group could look like to serve the whole BAM fellowship. They'll do this in partnership with the InterVarsity leaders so that we can integrate well to reach and serve as many students on campus as possible. YEAH GOD for bringing unity to campus and reconnecting us to a great group of students!!!
We are starting training tomorrow and I'm thrilled that over 6 BAM students will be joining us, along with hopefully over 10 InterVarsity students!!!! I am praying this training would bring us together and would help us prepare for the coming year. It would be great to have more Small Groups available on campus for students to come to next year. I also would love to have the leaders who are helping with training grow in passion for their own small group and investing in younger students. I think the hardest thing this year has been getting leaders to see God has given them skills he wants them to use to invest in others. Discipleship in its simplest form has been so difficult. So hard. But I'm praying this training will help them use the talents God's given them.
Oh and Bosnia! So on top of all my regular campus work I get to prepare for Bosnia! Pray for our huge teams!!!!!! Last year was the most students we've ever brought to Bosnia 4 in Zenica and 7 in Sarajevo. But there was such a draw and a movement of the Holy Spirit that 30 students applied!!!!!!!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know! We talked with the EUS Staff and decided to bring 10 students to Zenica and 14 to Sarajevo. Such huge teams makes everything really hard. Travel, loosing people, luggage, finding housing, and places to meet all together, trips in country, outreaches in country, the camp at the end of the trip, debriefing, orientation location. EVERYTHING!!!! I know God will get us through all of those worries but it's daunting to have to see them all at the same time. If you have a place near LAX you think could house 28 people PLEASE TELL ME!
Yikes!!!!!
But in all the busyness there's so much joy to be right where God wants me and working for him!
LOVE IT!!!!!!
Re-affiliation of a predominantly African American group on campus with us, Spring Leader's training and Bosnia team meetings, support letters, staff planning stuff and prayer. Ahhhhhh!
Once there was a IV staff named Glory he invested in Josiah and lead a small group for Black students on campus. When Glory left, Josiah continued the small group and invested in Brandon but didn't consider themselves part of InterVarsity anymore. And Brandon, with all the passions and gifts God has given him, gathered together a whole fellowship of students and they called themselves BAM (Born Again Ministries). It's been really exciting to work with Brandon and the other leaders of BAM. They are hospitable, word loving students! As Paul and Brandon have built a relationship over the last 2 years Brandon shared he and his whole leadership team was graduating and there was uncertainty in the future of BAM. After months of talking and planing and preparing and praying some BAM students are going to join our leadership team, lead Bible Studies and help us plan what our Large Group could look like to serve the whole BAM fellowship. They'll do this in partnership with the InterVarsity leaders so that we can integrate well to reach and serve as many students on campus as possible. YEAH GOD for bringing unity to campus and reconnecting us to a great group of students!!!
We are starting training tomorrow and I'm thrilled that over 6 BAM students will be joining us, along with hopefully over 10 InterVarsity students!!!! I am praying this training would bring us together and would help us prepare for the coming year. It would be great to have more Small Groups available on campus for students to come to next year. I also would love to have the leaders who are helping with training grow in passion for their own small group and investing in younger students. I think the hardest thing this year has been getting leaders to see God has given them skills he wants them to use to invest in others. Discipleship in its simplest form has been so difficult. So hard. But I'm praying this training will help them use the talents God's given them.
Oh and Bosnia! So on top of all my regular campus work I get to prepare for Bosnia! Pray for our huge teams!!!!!! Last year was the most students we've ever brought to Bosnia 4 in Zenica and 7 in Sarajevo. But there was such a draw and a movement of the Holy Spirit that 30 students applied!!!!!!!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know! We talked with the EUS Staff and decided to bring 10 students to Zenica and 14 to Sarajevo. Such huge teams makes everything really hard. Travel, loosing people, luggage, finding housing, and places to meet all together, trips in country, outreaches in country, the camp at the end of the trip, debriefing, orientation location. EVERYTHING!!!! I know God will get us through all of those worries but it's daunting to have to see them all at the same time. If you have a place near LAX you think could house 28 people PLEASE TELL ME!
Yikes!!!!!
But in all the busyness there's so much joy to be right where God wants me and working for him!
LOVE IT!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Flying February!
God is So GREAT!!!!
I just wanted to send out some praise to your prayers from the previous weeks. If you don't want to read any further: God showed up in every situation/event and showed once again that he is a provider and gave me great refreshment as well. Thanks for your prayers.
For those who like stories:
1) Sophomore girls.
More than one instance in the last 2 weeks was a hard conversation with sophomores- and each was very emotionally draining. The one I was specifically referring to when I asked for prayer did not go so well. I listened but they didn't feel heard, they were bent to have things their way and that was hurtful to me. We prayed after a long conversation and I left feeling defeated and worse than before. But after Winter Conference they came up to me individually and apologized. PRAISE GOD! I can only show people truth I can't make them change their hearts. God can and that's what I prayed for! Praise Him for healing relationships and bringing truth to light.
2) WinterConference08!
AMAZING!!!!! I was so blessed to be in the first track where students are challenged to see God as the Lord of their WHOLE lives- not just a piece of it. It was a great weekend to see God at work in their lives and among us all! One UCSB student said he wanted to start following Jesus for the first time! Pray for Eric! And another UCSB student said he wanted to get back on track with God- because he's been off for so long and wants to take Jesus seriously! Pray for Jason! At the end of the conference students shared what they had learned and it was so encouraging to hear how God had been moving uniquely in each student's heart. Some to reconcile with roommates. Some to share their faith more with their friends. Some to embrace their ethnic identity. And some to take steps to really invest in other students' lives! PRAISE GOD FOR ALL HIS WORK! And that I got to be a part of it! YEAH!
3) Staff Interviews.
This process is actually still in process so I can't tell you all the results yet but I can say that God was present in each interview. One staff prospect told me that this was the best interview because "They wanted to really understand me and they made it clear my worth was not in getting a job as a staff worker but in who I was in Christ and they were just assessing if I would fit well on Staff." Praise God for always being with us! You can be praying also for how everything will work out for each applicant. Especially Mariah, Kat and Marissa (my students). The process wont be over until mid April but I'll tell you then what happened! Yeah God!
Oh and then lastly I just had a really refreshing time with God, no time constraints and nothing pleading for my time and attention. I was reminded how hungry I am for God and his word and time with him. After 2 weeks of busyness it was nice to receive from God! Thank you so so so so so much for your prayers! You are such a blessing in my life!
I just wanted to send out some praise to your prayers from the previous weeks. If you don't want to read any further: God showed up in every situation/event and showed once again that he is a provider and gave me great refreshment as well. Thanks for your prayers.
For those who like stories:
1) Sophomore girls.
More than one instance in the last 2 weeks was a hard conversation with sophomores- and each was very emotionally draining. The one I was specifically referring to when I asked for prayer did not go so well. I listened but they didn't feel heard, they were bent to have things their way and that was hurtful to me. We prayed after a long conversation and I left feeling defeated and worse than before. But after Winter Conference they came up to me individually and apologized. PRAISE GOD! I can only show people truth I can't make them change their hearts. God can and that's what I prayed for! Praise Him for healing relationships and bringing truth to light.
2) WinterConference08!
AMAZING!!!!! I was so blessed to be in the first track where students are challenged to see God as the Lord of their WHOLE lives- not just a piece of it. It was a great weekend to see God at work in their lives and among us all! One UCSB student said he wanted to start following Jesus for the first time! Pray for Eric! And another UCSB student said he wanted to get back on track with God- because he's been off for so long and wants to take Jesus seriously! Pray for Jason! At the end of the conference students shared what they had learned and it was so encouraging to hear how God had been moving uniquely in each student's heart. Some to reconcile with roommates. Some to share their faith more with their friends. Some to embrace their ethnic identity. And some to take steps to really invest in other students' lives! PRAISE GOD FOR ALL HIS WORK! And that I got to be a part of it! YEAH!
3) Staff Interviews.
This process is actually still in process so I can't tell you all the results yet but I can say that God was present in each interview. One staff prospect told me that this was the best interview because "They wanted to really understand me and they made it clear my worth was not in getting a job as a staff worker but in who I was in Christ and they were just assessing if I would fit well on Staff." Praise God for always being with us! You can be praying also for how everything will work out for each applicant. Especially Mariah, Kat and Marissa (my students). The process wont be over until mid April but I'll tell you then what happened! Yeah God!
Oh and then lastly I just had a really refreshing time with God, no time constraints and nothing pleading for my time and attention. I was reminded how hungry I am for God and his word and time with him. After 2 weeks of busyness it was nice to receive from God! Thank you so so so so so much for your prayers! You are such a blessing in my life!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
What do you do when students feel guilty?
That's a question I asked my supervisor Joseph today. I don’t know if the words I say sounds accusing or if the way I say it sounds accusing or if just the topics of life I choose to talk about are more convicting but I hear I make people feel guilty.
There is history to this...
I once had a roommate, let's call her Bertha. I discipled her during her freshman year and then we became roommates. Everything was great until she really wanted to have a boyfriend. I tried to encourage her and pray with and for her but all she could think about was having a boyfriend. She became good friends with a very nice, non-yet-Christian man. She wanted to date him and I advised her that would not be a good idea with scripture and others' life experiences. Others in here live were encouraging her to date him and eventually she did. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea again but continued checking in with her and the spiritual health of the relationship and her own health as a friend but not again telling her to stop dating him. Yet after a few months she stopped talking to me about him and would avoid any question I asked about him. She eventually broke up with him, met a nice Christian man and got married. I asked what happened to our friendship and she said she felt guilty, or that I wanted her to feel guilty all the time.
I realized the way I communicate things can come off judgmental if not followed up with love-if others can't see that it comes from love and not care and concern. At the same time though I wondered if it was her own guilt imposed on herself because, after I realized she would continue to date him, I just wanted to love her anyway. I didn't judge her I advised her and loved her and she felt guilty. Much later she admitted that she should never have been dating a non-Christian...
I wonder...
Is there good guilt and bad guilt? Does a guilt trip mean one person is manipulating the other? Or can someone really feel guilt because they are struggling with it internally and would rather think it was brought on by an outsider?
Currently...
I learned how I say things makes a difference and that how I approach a topic and with what love I portray all makes a difference in how what I say is received.
Today I praised the FT Bible study saying they had great connections with many students in the dorms because the leaders were spending them there, and I think that's really cool! The other leader I was with said, "Thanks for making us feel guilty."
Halt. That statement was to praise FT and the great things I saw-not directed at any other leader to make them feel guilty. Perhaps they would be encouraged to hear of the great things happening in FT and want that to happen in their own study but not feel guilty about anything. We talked about it a little more but the leader maintained "some people would take that as guilt."
By chance does that mean that my leader feels guilty about not spending more time in the dorms? By seeing the great things done by others are they jealous? What did I say wrong? I shall ask them that when we're alone and feel it out more but really,
What do you do when students feel guilty?
There is history to this...
I once had a roommate, let's call her Bertha. I discipled her during her freshman year and then we became roommates. Everything was great until she really wanted to have a boyfriend. I tried to encourage her and pray with and for her but all she could think about was having a boyfriend. She became good friends with a very nice, non-yet-Christian man. She wanted to date him and I advised her that would not be a good idea with scripture and others' life experiences. Others in here live were encouraging her to date him and eventually she did. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea again but continued checking in with her and the spiritual health of the relationship and her own health as a friend but not again telling her to stop dating him. Yet after a few months she stopped talking to me about him and would avoid any question I asked about him. She eventually broke up with him, met a nice Christian man and got married. I asked what happened to our friendship and she said she felt guilty, or that I wanted her to feel guilty all the time.
I realized the way I communicate things can come off judgmental if not followed up with love-if others can't see that it comes from love and not care and concern. At the same time though I wondered if it was her own guilt imposed on herself because, after I realized she would continue to date him, I just wanted to love her anyway. I didn't judge her I advised her and loved her and she felt guilty. Much later she admitted that she should never have been dating a non-Christian...
I wonder...
Is there good guilt and bad guilt? Does a guilt trip mean one person is manipulating the other? Or can someone really feel guilt because they are struggling with it internally and would rather think it was brought on by an outsider?
Currently...
I learned how I say things makes a difference and that how I approach a topic and with what love I portray all makes a difference in how what I say is received.
Today I praised the FT Bible study saying they had great connections with many students in the dorms because the leaders were spending them there, and I think that's really cool! The other leader I was with said, "Thanks for making us feel guilty."
Halt. That statement was to praise FT and the great things I saw-not directed at any other leader to make them feel guilty. Perhaps they would be encouraged to hear of the great things happening in FT and want that to happen in their own study but not feel guilty about anything. We talked about it a little more but the leader maintained "some people would take that as guilt."
By chance does that mean that my leader feels guilty about not spending more time in the dorms? By seeing the great things done by others are they jealous? What did I say wrong? I shall ask them that when we're alone and feel it out more but really,
What do you do when students feel guilty?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Finally
We have been praying and asking that God would move and reveal himself to students at UCSB and through InterVarsity.
Well it finally happened. Last Friday.
Noemi came to speak and gave a good talk about Identity and at the end ask students to respond. She had them close their eyes and then asked if they wanted their identity to be based in Christ Jesus and not in the world, all the other things she talked about for the previous 30 minutes, they just had to raise their hand. Now... we've asked this question many time at our Large Group meetings and no one ever responds. The leaders thought we should stop embarrassing oursleves, the young Christians didn't understand what we were doing and the non-Christians in the room didn't know what to think BUT... Last Friday was different. TWO STUDENTS RAISED THEIR HANDS!!!!!! Eric has been a part of our community this whole year and finally made a committment. Josh had come with his friend once and arrived this Friday alone but God was calling on his heart and revealing to him the dark parts of his life and his heart.
Welcome to the Kingdom of God! It's a great place to be!
Now our leaders are encouraged and want us to continue asking. The young Christians know they can bring their friends to a place where they will be challenged to look at a real and active God. And the other not-yet-Christians in the room maybe now think there is something more about this God, he really does change lives and convict hearts.
YEAH GOD!!!!!
Let us continue to teach and disciple and love these new brothers! And may God bring many more students to himself!
Well it finally happened. Last Friday.
Noemi came to speak and gave a good talk about Identity and at the end ask students to respond. She had them close their eyes and then asked if they wanted their identity to be based in Christ Jesus and not in the world, all the other things she talked about for the previous 30 minutes, they just had to raise their hand. Now... we've asked this question many time at our Large Group meetings and no one ever responds. The leaders thought we should stop embarrassing oursleves, the young Christians didn't understand what we were doing and the non-Christians in the room didn't know what to think BUT... Last Friday was different. TWO STUDENTS RAISED THEIR HANDS!!!!!! Eric has been a part of our community this whole year and finally made a committment. Josh had come with his friend once and arrived this Friday alone but God was calling on his heart and revealing to him the dark parts of his life and his heart.
Welcome to the Kingdom of God! It's a great place to be!
Now our leaders are encouraged and want us to continue asking. The young Christians know they can bring their friends to a place where they will be challenged to look at a real and active God. And the other not-yet-Christians in the room maybe now think there is something more about this God, he really does change lives and convict hearts.
YEAH GOD!!!!!
Let us continue to teach and disciple and love these new brothers! And may God bring many more students to himself!
Drowning in Applications
I thought we only had 25 but no, alas, there were 30 applications. YIKES!!!! I mean YEAH!!!!
I'm so encouraged that God is stirring in students hearts to serve and go!
I talked with Jan and he said we could increase from 14 students to 18. Well I'll talk with the Bosnia Staff team on Friday and we'll see how many quality students God has called us to bring and then talk with Jan from there. Maybe they could take more students in Sarajevo? We'll see. Please be praying for our decisions and that whatever students come and however many they are that we would be a blessing to EUS staff and nothing less. We don't want to be a burden!
I'm excited to go back. Jimmy was in town yesterday with Kari and we all went to coffee together for 3 hours :)) They are both really great and I would love to spend the summer together with them again- but we'll have to see how the Lord leads. It was fun reminiscing with Jimmy about storieds and fun times we all had together and t to talk about our friends from English class and all the updates we had on them we shared. So fun! Volim Bosne!
30 applications..... yikes.
I'm so encouraged that God is stirring in students hearts to serve and go!
I talked with Jan and he said we could increase from 14 students to 18. Well I'll talk with the Bosnia Staff team on Friday and we'll see how many quality students God has called us to bring and then talk with Jan from there. Maybe they could take more students in Sarajevo? We'll see. Please be praying for our decisions and that whatever students come and however many they are that we would be a blessing to EUS staff and nothing less. We don't want to be a burden!
I'm excited to go back. Jimmy was in town yesterday with Kari and we all went to coffee together for 3 hours :)) They are both really great and I would love to spend the summer together with them again- but we'll have to see how the Lord leads. It was fun reminiscing with Jimmy about storieds and fun times we all had together and t to talk about our friends from English class and all the updates we had on them we shared. So fun! Volim Bosne!
30 applications..... yikes.
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